I Love DC/DC Sucks

Well people, after weeks of living here, I think I am ready to bring forth the comprehensive list I made on the trip out here – what is wonderful and sucky about DC. I will publish a list of wonderful and sucky things about Missoula once I know more than 3 streets here. Lets start on a low note:

100% humidity + a suit – I’m glowing not sweating, I swear!
Comcast customer service – If you know what I’m talking about, you know.
Getting mugged – Note to the wise, pretend to fall on your purse so they don’t see it…works every time.
Litter – I knew it was time to leave when Matt yelled at a girl for throwing a cigarette butt on the ground and made her pick it up.
Washington Hospital Center – Go in healthy, come out missing a limb.
Beltway traffic– I’m getting road rage just thinking about it!
Monsoon rains – The wet rat hair-do is very becoming.
Metal detectors – Darn people with darts or gold teeth always holding up the line!
Grates and other obstacles on sidewalks – If you get your heel caught in a grate, fall down and lose your shoe a guy will never call you back for a second date…take my word on it.
The sound of sirens – The Urban Concerto in FU Minor.
Getting a cab in Adams Morgan at 2AM – I stooped so low as to barter my jumbo slice pizza away in exchange for a cab..that’s desperation!!

Oh Jumbo Slice.

Oh Jumbo Slice.

Begging* – Now, I have given away so much money to folks on the streets of DC I could probably afford a down payment on a house with it. But the line was crossed when, a week before I left, a man was begging in the dairy aisle of Harris Teeter while holding a bag with his already purchased groceries! * Please see my solution to homeless giving below.
THE PARKING POLICE – As many of you know, I used to have a reputation as a repeat parking violation offender. It took getting booted and then a week later getting a $300+ ticket for parking in front of a hydrant (that was covered with trash cans) along with an out of date inspection and registration to change my ways. But I still hate them with a passion.

The Metro – Sleek and stylish, the best transportation around.
Uncle Brothers Hot Sauce – Smokey, hot, delicious and made on Capitol Hill! Feel free to send my way.
Brown Sugar Karaoke – Check out my earlier post about him and you will see why.
Bio weddings in the Washington Post Express – Lets face it, the Express is the perfect (and free) mini news snapshot bleary commuters can handle in the morning and the weddings are just the icing on the cake! ba-dum-ching.

Please note the missing ATM and locked up soda machines in the back. Hilarious!!

Please note the missing ATM and locked up soda machines in the back. Hilarious!!

Conrad the Street Sense dealer* – Not drugs, newspapers. You can find him selling the weekly homeless newspaper in Eastern Market. Street Sense is sold all over DC by homeless vendors and is awesome. I encourage you to spend the $1 a week to support the hard working vendors.
Food and drink – OMG, where do I start? Sakana, Mark and Orlando’s, La Lomita, Trusty’s, Good Stuff, T Coast, Dupont Grill, Duccini’s, Tabard Inn, Etete, Stoneys, Sova…The list could go on for hours, no wonder I gained 25lbs there!!
At Etete eating with our hands!

At Etete eating (drinking) with our hands!

Capitol Hill – OK, OK, calm down. I know most of you feel strongly about where you live in DC, but I must remind you that I have lived in every quadrant of DC and I thought Cap Hill was the bestest.
The Arboretum – Hands down the most relaxing and beautiful outdoor space in DC.
Free museums – Whoops, forgot to take advantage of these, but I bet they rock!
The Vermont State Society – What’s better then a room full of Vermonters eating Cabot cheese and drinking Magic Hat #9?
Eastern Market – A super money spending weekend spot.
My friends – (Warning, cheesy alert) I loved DC because the people I knew and met there and had the privilege of spending time with. I miss you all SO much.

P.S. – Shout out to Addy for being the first to book her trip out here. Those blog posts are going to be wild!! Glacier National Park, watch out, here we come.

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